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Another expense I choose to absorb is keeping my own car. Because I cannot breathe at all unless someone holds my nose and then not for long, I take double sets of equipment when I go out and have the car alternator adapted to my portable respirators. For this reason not many cars can accommodate me. To keep my own car is to guarantee my mobility. Considering that I don't go out more than 12 times a year it is a rather expensive luxury. This illustrates another beautiful factor of independent living -- you can indulge in any folly or extravagance you wish.

Mention of extravagance naturally calls up images of money and you are probably wondering how the three of us manage in that respect.

Donna was a psychiatric nurse before she was disabled which now entitles her to Workmen's Compensation. This plus a monthly stipend from the Mouth and Foot Painters Association are sufficient for her to live on and still pay her helper a small salary.

Connie relies on government assistance to cover her needs. She receives a seasonal supplement from selling Christmas cards she designs and makes herself.

Payment of my bills is provided by Social Security benefits as a disabled child, a little inherited capital and creative writing sales. My aunt owns the home I live in and generously absorbs the taxes and other big house expenditures, such as roof replacement. I pay for the upkeep, minor repairs and furnishings.

As a reliable attendant may make the difference whether you succeed or fail in solo living, be discreet in your choice of one. Newspaper ads are the most popular way of looking for help and many different kinds of people respond, including neurotics, alcoholics, dope addicts and homosexuals. Special adjustments have to be made to people with these problems and you must decide for yourself whether you can make them. Always request references.

Independent living is not for everyone. Many disabled people prefer the warmth and security of living with their family. They would not like the insecurity of wondering how long their helpers would be with them or the difficulty of having to make constant new adjustments demanded by what is often a high help turnover. Further, if you enjoy your family you would probably not be satisfied with the different, more impersonal type of relationship you have with a paid helper. Too it takes a certain fortitude to assure that your own will prevails in the matters of your living. Some people tend to take advantage of the immobile and gradually overwhelm your wishes and objectives with their own.

But if you are a free spirit who needs independence to develop this might be the best way for you to live. The challenge is great but then, so is the fulfillment.

Donna McGwinn's address: Box 267, Grand River, Ohio 44045.