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SECOND SAMUEL 12th Chap., 22d and 23d verses: --"And he said, while the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live?"

"But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

I took as directly applicable to my worst thoughts, either to goad me on to fury and insanity, by false reports and dire inuendoes, tricks and schemes, or it may be that the Parson was sincere, and applied the text to my case in sheer necessity and christian sympathy. Either way led me still nearer to wreck and misery.

One day my wife and her brother visited me. I was permitted to see them in the parlor for a few minutes, and then they retired. After their departure it was my strong conviction that both of them had fallen into the hands of the Inquisitors, and were ground and cut up. In fact this delusion was kept up very perfectly by a noise of the steam used to heat the water in the attic, which caused a bubbling and boiling, as though bodies were being really broken and ground up by machinery for that purpose. In the midst of this, some miscreant called out the name of my wife, and said she was gone; all of which was done to torture, annoy, confuse and bewilder me. The whole winter of my confinement was made up of such issues. My days were full of horrors, my nights terrible, beyond all human comprehension. I cannot conceive how it was possible for me to endure all of this, and live any longer. No death could be more terrible than my (then) mode of life, and I should have fallen had not Providence otherwise ordained it. And now, at the time of this writing, nearly six years have passed away, and I have been out into the world about four years, yet these scenes are as fresh to my mind as though they occurred but yesterday. I wish all, who may read these pages, to distinctly understand that it is a fair statement of facts as they occurred; that those officers and men did actually intend to instill them into my mind. -- This is neither the insane delusion of my bewildered imagination, or a tale of fiction, but is a stern reality -- the solemn truth -- and directly or indirectly have three of the hired men who were at the Hospital at that time, and who knew it all, admitted it, in most of its essential points, to be true. It is the truth; truth that will sustain me in the solemn hour of death, and when I meet those that I accuse of having done it, before that tribunal from whence there will be no appeal; it is the truth, so help and sustain me, God! Written with my own hand.

CHAPTER IV.

The first of April Dr. Bates took charge of the Hospital. The whole course of medicine was changed. Morphine was freely given me to allay the excitement produced by the horrid medicine given me by Dr. Ray. Dr. Bates, I must say, treated me very kindly for a while -- the medicine with which I had been plied by Dr. Ray, however, was so incorporated into my system, that it took time to get it worked out. About three weeks after Dr. Bates took charge, I was by him permitted to visit my family, accompanied by Mr. Hall, the supervisor. I remained with them about one hour, and then returned to the Hospital. Again separated from my family I was revisited by all, and more than all, of those horrid phrenzies. Dr. Smith still being in the Institution, I could not conquor my repugnance and dread of him, from the bad treatment I had received at his hands. He made up the prescriptions of the Institution, and I felt fearful of all the preparations he made for me; in fact, I never encountered this man without a sensation of dread and terror. There was something in his manner, features, and very tread, that caused me to shudder as though I was in the presence of a rapacious beast of prey.

About this time I was taken very ill. I could not get a particle of quiet repose. My mind was tortured with a thousand wild fancies, and I must say this was about the severest of all my anguish during my incarceration in this modern Inquisition. I am not now prepared to assert it as positive, but I thought and do now think, and I know that Dr. Smith was not the man to hesitate to do as evil, and even worse -- drug me with medical preparations to destroy my mental and physical faculties -- for during this sickness of several weeks duration, I was really so low and despairing that I entertained not the slightest doubt but what I should fall a victim to these malpractices and inhuman atrocities. However, after all storms comes a calm -- the darkest night turns out the brightest morning. I got better, walked about, and even induced Dr. Bates to grant me a parole to walk out about the grounds. This was refreshing, and I enjoyed it much after having been shut up in such a prison for so long a period. But still this was not liberty, so dear to the heart of every man. No; it was not the liberty I sighed, begged and wept for -- the liberty which, by preaching or praying to stones, I might have gained. But my appeals were to hearts of lead, flint, or steel, and produced nothing to alleviate the suffering of my tortured body and mind. Dr. Bates, after much persuasion, finally almost by force, induced me to engage in the amusements of some of the other patients, such as playing cards, &c., which seemed to worry and distress my mind instead of relieving it.