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Modern Persecution, or Married Woman's Liabilities
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959 | I turned from this granite statue, and cast a look upon the opposite bank. | |
960 | My courage revived at the prospect. I could distinctly see a company of men, who seemed to be consulting what to do for me, for I could see they had a rope in their hands. Life motion, interest the most intense, marked their energetic movements. | |
961 | But I considered -- how can the rope be extended to me, and if it were, how could it help me in sustaining my footing, on the narrow string-piece I had to pass over upon? To look down, my head would swim. To look up, it was clear. Still, then I could not see where to place my feet. | |
962 | I concluded to hold on to my standing beam, and wait awhile, thinking, there will be doubtless some amongst the by-standing witnesses whose gallantry will prompt them to even expose their own lives, to rescue a defenseless female from her hazardous position. | |
963 | I therefore, for a time, trusted my deliverance, with all the trustful confidence of my womanly nature, to the care of manhood, whose God-like development instinctively volunteers help to the helpless -- protection to the unprotected. | |
964 | But upon a reconsideration of the difficulties in the case, I found a new one, which had before escaped my notice. I saw that the river below me was covered with empty chairs -- large armed office chairs -- all upright, but empty! These chairs so obstructed the passage that boats could not be sent to my aid from beneath. I thought, Oh! that the public officers had not vacated these chairs, and I would venture to drop into their arms! But no -- instead of these officers being at their posts to help the helpless, their fixtures only serve as an impediment, to obstruct other sources of help. | |
965 | I therefore concluded, that since I was out of the reach of all human help, the only alternative left me, was to run the risk of saving myself by my own unaided exertions, by going forward, risking all the hazards of a progressive movement. I concluded my way must be to look constantly upward, and move my feet forward, with most careful, cautious steps. | |
966 | Having fully settled upon this course, I stooped down to remove my shoes, and drop them into the stream, so that being thus disencumbered, I might with stocking feet move forward, with less danger of slipping off. | |
967 | While in the act of removing my shoes, I awoke, happy to find myself in a dormitory bed in an insane asylum, instead of being a fifth of the way across the string-piece. | |
968 | The next day I told Mrs. Hosmer of my dream; and the interpretation she put upon it, was in her own laconic style, as follows: | |
969 | "Mrs. Packard, you must leave public opinion behind you, until the bridge is built. You must just go on alone. You are now called to walk through Gethsemane's garden alone, as your Master did, depending upon no human sympathy for support. You may expect God's angel will be sent to sustain you, when your accumulated sorrows become too great for human fortitude to endure. Mrs. Packard, we must all pass to heaven in the same steps our Master trod -- like Him, we must all pass through Gethsemane's garden -- and like His, the path leading to the consummation of our sanctification is constantly narrowing, and attended with increasing difficulties as we approach its termination. It is then too narrow for two to go abreast. Alone! alone!! we must tread the wine-press of God's wrath, even while under the eclipse of God's countenance -- for so God appoints. No other road terminates in eternal day. This promise must sustain you: 'If ye suffer with me, ye shall also reign with me.'" | |
970 | "Oh thanks! ten thousand thanks, Mrs. Hosmer, for these words of comfort to my sorrowing soul!" | |
971 | After being strengthened by this angel-visitant, my sinking soul could say with my Master, "Yes, the cup which my Father hath given me, I will drink," uncomplainingly. Yes, "Not my will but thine, O God, be done" concerning me. Henceforth, my highest purpose shall be not to get out of this asylum to be with my precious children -- not to convince the world that I am not an insane person -- but it shall henceforth be my chief purpose to become a perfect person in Christ Jesus' estimation, regardless of the estimation of perverted humanity. | |
972 | Yes, God is my witness that hitherto this purpose in me has not been broken. | |
973 | But O! the persecution, the sorrows, the agony I have endured in carrying out this purpose into a practical one, God only knows. For He only knows who has been misunderstood, misrepresented, maligned and persecuted unto death, how to feel for those who are. | |
974 | Yes, when I think how good and kind my Saviour was to all -- how innocent he was of the least trespass upon other's rights, and then think how no cruel tyrant was ever hated with a more deadly hate than was my loving Master, I feel like saying, "it is enough for the servant that he be as his master." | |
975 | Yes, alone! single-handed and alone, I have dared to expose and condemn as guilty, those laws and those practices which treat insanity as a crime! To imprison a person for being insane -- to cut them off from all communication with outside influences that they may thus punish these helpless, innocent sufferers, with less danger of interference from abroad, thus to expose the most dependent creatures of God's government to unmerited abuse, is a heaven-daring crime, which well merits the indignation of an incensed God, sure to follow such outrages, bestowed upon His children -- upon Himself -- personified in human form. |