Library Collections: Document: Full Text

And let me assure you, this is not the only claim on your purse, which your patients are yet to demand, in behalf of the State, for retaining us illegally here, when we ought to be supporting ourselves. And, I assure you, this draft upon your finances will not be a light one. You will need your eight dollars a day to meet all our claims, and your family may suffer for want of the eight dollar a day stream with which your garden is now watered.

This eight dollar stream is to be dried up, and your garden to wither in consequence.

And so is your great oak of popularity to become leafless without affording you a protection. Your high-sounding words of honor are mere empty bubbles without the acts of honor.

Honorable acts, not honorable words merely, is all than can now save you.

Your faithful Eva's unrequited services are not your only outstanding debts. You have had, and still have, many, many faithful, unappreciated, unrequited services performed for you, while their hearts are almost bursting with indignation at your selfish indifference to their interests.

Again, Dr. McFarland, there was an eye-witness to that kiss which you bestowed upon me in your office, when you thought we were alone!

Your true friend, E. P. W. Packard, now takes her final leave of you in your present detestable character. Men and women are henceforth to be my chosen associates. And when all traces of humanity are obliterated from a human form, I shall regard that form only as a personified demon, whom I am in duty bound to avoid, by holding no fellowship whatever with him afterwards.

Farewell, Dr. McFarland,
Your true friend,
Jacksonville, Nov. 12,1860.
E. P. W. PACKARD.

P. S. -- There are those in this ward, who have given me their own voluntary pledge, in view of this document in these words, viz:

"Mrs. Packard, I will stand by you in defence of that document if it costs me my life."

"I will back that up, Mrs. Packard, if I die in doing it."

"If there is a hole or a dungeon in this building where Dr. McFarland can put you as a punishment for your writing that document, I will go with you and there die with you, before I will recant one word of all you have said there, for it is the truth, just as true as truth can make it."

Dr. McFarland, I say to you, beware!

The use of our God-given rights of opinion and rights of speech are now to be protected to us by our only protector -- our Master -- our Husband. And we are not afraid of this Husband proving recreant to His high, noble office of protecting His spouse, as the weaker vessel, who claims such protection.

You, our boasted protectors, have proved yourselves despots, whom we can only despise.

Remember, Dr. McFarland, this is your last chance. The fatal dyke is but a few moments ahead of you. Repentance or exposure!

E. P. W. P.

CHAPTER XIV.
My Occupation.

As my readers now find me located in my new position, they may, perhaps, like to know how I occupied myself. As it was in consequence of my defence of others' rights and privileges that I had lost my own, I now felt impelled by the same spirit, to make others' wants my care, rather than care for myself, by neglecting them. Indeed, I have found that the exercise of this spirit, is, in reality, the best antidote I can find for an oppressed spirit.

Paradoxical as it may seem, I think the best way to train ourselves to bear heavy burdens, is to bear the burdens of others.

It now seems to me, that unless I had known how to practically apply this principle, I must have inevitably sunk under my burdens; but the elasticity of spirit which benevolent acts alone inspire, capacitates the spirit to rebound, where it would otherwise be crushed by the pressure put upon it.

And moreover, I summoned the will-power also to my rescue. I determined not to be crushed, neither would I submit to see others crushed. In other language, I determined to be a living reprover of the evils existing here.

I did not intend to defend one line of conduct with my tongue and pen, and endorse a different line by my actions. I knew that preaching godliness had far less potency for good, than practical godliness.

My sermon had already been preached; now, all that I had to do, was to put its principles into practice. I had asked Dr. McFarland to ameliorate the condition of his patients; and now determined to aid him in this good work, to the fullest extent of my ability. Therefore, for months and years from this date, I worked for this object almost exclusively.

The attendants were very negligent in their duties; still, I did not feel disposed to blame or reprove them for these neglects. Feeling that this duty fell on the Superintendent, and having already given him the reproof which was his due, I felt that I had no right to teach his attendants, only by the silent influence of example. In short, I tried to fill up on my part the defects of theirs.

I commenced this line of conduct on the Sabbath morning succeeding my removal. As I have said, the patients were in an exceedingly filthy condition, and therefore their personal cleanliness was plainly my first most obvious duty.