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This time, she left her victim, and came at me in a great rage, and seizing my arm she said:

"Go to your room!" As she was leading me unresistingly along, one of the patients took hold of her arm, and exclaimed:

"Mrs. De La Hay, do you know what you are about? Do you know that it is Mrs. Packard you are locking up?"

"Yes, I do, and I am obeying Dr. McFarland in what I am doing. He tells me not to let Mrs. Packard interfere with the management of the patients."

She led me to my room, where I was locked up until the next morning. While there, I heard the Doctor's footsteps in the hall, and heard Mrs. De La Hay tell him why she had locked me up, and he sanctioned the act by leaving me locked up, without coming to my room at all.

The next day I ascertained, that she was disciplining this dormitory patient with the straight-jacket, because she had found her upon her bed, trying to rest herself from the pain this rupture on her lungs was causing her.

So far as Mrs. De La Hay's treatment of me was concerned, I did not consider her so much to blame, as Dr. McFarland was. Unlike my other attendants, she was too weak to resist the Doctor's influence, and therefore carried out his wishes, while the others would not. Had the other attendants carried out his wishes, my asylum discipline would have been as severe as that of the other prisoners.

It was a very noticeable fact, that the very means Mrs. De La Hay used to secure and retain the Doctor's favor, by abusing me, was the very excuse the Doctor made for discharging her; and the boast that her "position" protected her from the straight-jacket, did not prove a very defensive armor, for in a few months from the time she uttered it, she became insane and a tenant of the Jacksonville Poor-House!

CHAPTER XVII.
"Let Dr. McFarland Bear his own Sins!"

One day while in my room, I heard an uncommon noise in our ward, when, on suddenly opening the door, I saw nearly opposite, Dr. McFarland just as he had released his grasp of Bridget's throat, who had been struggling for her life, to avoid strangulation from his grasp. I did not see the Doctor's hand upon her throat, but I did see what she said were the marks of his thumb on one side of her throat, and of his fingers upon the other, and Bridget had a sore neck for some days afterwards, in consequence of it. Bridget's, the patient, account of the matter is this:

"The Doctor entered the ward just after a patient had broken a chair, and the pieces were still lying upon the floor. I stood by while Mrs. De La Hay explained the case to the Doctor, simply as a listener. I had had nothing to do with breaking the chair. Mrs. DeLaHay also stood by, waiting the Doctor's orders. The Doctor turned to me and said:

'Pick up those pieces, Bridget!'

"I shan't do it! I didn't come here to work. It is your attendant's business to do the work. He then, without saying a word, seized me by the throat, and the noise you heard was my struggle for deliverance."

"Why, Bridget! How dare you speak so to the Doctor? Why didn't you obey him?"

"I wouldn't have done it if he had killed me! I didn't come here to do his work, and I wont do it!"

This was Bridget's account, and it was confirmed, not only by all the witnessing patients, but also by Mrs. De La Hay herself.

Bridget was a quiet, inoffensive patient. I never saw her evince anything but reasonable conduct, when she was reasonably dealt by, and she was one of my dormitory companions for many months. She was always obedient to reasonable commands; but, like human beings generally, she felt that she had rights of her own which ought to be respected.

Bridget has immortalized herself in my memory, by the lesson in theology she taught me the first night I occupied the room with her. It was under these circumstances. As was my uniform practice, I kneeled in front of my bed that night, before I got into it, to offer my silent prayer for protection and help, when Bridget, from the opposite bed, exclaimed:

"Pray aloud!"

I obeyed.

This being the first night of my consignment to this loathsome place, I had to struggle mentally, against the indulgence of revengeful feelings towards the Doctor, for the injustice of the act; therefore, to crush them out, I tried to pray for his forgiveness, and in doing so I made use of the expression:

"Lord, I am willing to even bear his punishment for him, if, by this means he can be forgiven for this act of injustice towards me."

Just at this point, Bridget interrupted me by exclaiming with great vehemence:

"Let Dr. McFarland bear his own sins!"

I am now of Bridget's mind entirely. Her sermon converted me from the theological error of vicarious suffering. I have never since asked my Father to let me bear the punishment of any other brother or sister, due them for their own sins; neither have I asked any other intelligence to bear the punishment due me for my own sins.

CHAPTER XVIII.
Attempted Reconciliation with Mr. Packard.