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This was not taking justice into my own hands, it was only leaving him to his own chosen way to work out his own de-struction, unimpeded. All hope of deliverance from this in-corrigible sinner, had long since gone out in utter darkness. He had deliberately put me off upon another man's protection, by withdrawing his own entirely.

And I must say that I felt a little exultant, under the thought that my entrance on the Doctor's arm might possibly make him feel that I had found in the protector he had chosen for me, one that suited me better than the one of my own choice!

Here let me say to my husband, that it is perfectly natural for me to love the opposite sex, it need not be a matter of surprise to him if I should come to love the only man he al-lowed me to associate with, for three years, especially if I can find in him anything worthy of my love.

And failing to find the jewel I sought in tins personifica-tion of a man determined to develop it, if woman's influence could do it, and now my hopes so long buried, were just ger-minating, and that they might perfect the beautiful buds of promise was to me my soul inspiring business to hasten this consummation.

Under the influence of these new and most joyous emotions I pursued my delightful employment of writing my most novel book.

The gallant and now gentlemanly Doctor's visits were most welcome seasons of rich and varied interchange of thoughts, so that my mind seemed stimulated into a new and healthful activity from this powerful magnetic influence.

The sound of his footsteps in the hall, and his gentle knock at my door now caused my heart to bound with joy as before it had caused a throb of anguish, to know that he was on his way to my room, into which he would bolt the most uncere-moniously, without caring whether he was welcome or not. Now to be treated as a lady, in this gallant manner, by this once boorish man, was to me the inauguration of a new and delightful era of my prison life.

But the brightest day has its clouds, and the finest gold its dross, as will be demonstrated in the following chapter.

CHAPTER LVI.
The Moral Barometer Indicates a Storm -- A Hurricane.

Woman's love for man is based on the principle of reverence. We can never truly love a man who has never inspired in us the feeling of fear, or reverence. A woman's nature calls for protection, as instinctively as the climbing rose calls for some-thing stronger than itself to climb upon. She can not, naturally, cling to a nature weaker than her own, any more than the vine can naturally climb without a stronger support than its own to cling to.

Fear, respect, and reverence, are emotions which superiority alone can inspire. I cannot exercise the feeling of reverence towards a being whom I do not look up to, as to a superior. A child cannot reverence his parent, unless that parent can command the feeling of authority over the child. Until this fear, or authority is established, the foundation stone of the edifice of filial love is wanting. A servant cannot reverence nor love his master, unless the principle of authority is estab-lished in the master. Let the servant, or the child feel that he can rule the master, or parent, and thus hold his authority in his own hands, then the foundation for contempt or irreverence is established.

God commands the love of all his creatures on the principle of superiority, which inspires reverence for his authority, and from this root, the purest, tenderest, most confiding love, naturally germinates.

Woman's nature is peculiarly fitted to love such a being, feel-ing him to be the embodiment of strength and power, such as she wants, to meet her instinctive aspirations. God tells us he has made man in his image, and therefore, on this basis, she turns to him as her natural protector. She finds in man, this tower of strength and wisdom, which she, like the vine is in search of, that she may live a natural life.

When she finds a man combining strength and wisdom su-perior to her own, she as naturally desires this power as her shield and defence, as she naturally desires food and sleep, to meet a demand of her nature.

For example, my nature being endowed with the instincts of a natural woman, has ever sought for a personified deity in a man form, to reverence and love. This feeling was first exercised towards my father, whose authority and kindness quick-ened this latent spark into activity. His authority was the stepping-stone to God's authority. He was to my childish nature, God's representative, and just in proportion as I rever-enced my father's authority, just in that proportion did I rev-erence God's authority.

As the child, in time, lost itself in the mature woman, so the filial love for my father became merged into a higher love of manhood, that of companionship, as well as protection. Un-like some children, I could not find in my father that kind of companionship my development demanded. He ruled me still, but not through my freedom, as my intelligence demanded. This, therefore, stifled this confiding spirit, because it could not act in conflict with reason.