Library Collections: Document: Full Text

Yes, I am getting friends, from high and low, rich and poor. I am loved and respected here by all that know me. I am their confidant, their counsellor, their bosom friend. Oh! how I love this new circle of friends! There are several patients here who are no more insane than I am; but are put here, like me, to get rid of them. But here we can work for God, and here die for him.

Love to all my children, and yourself also. I thank you for the fruit and mirror. It came safe. I had bought one before.

I am at rest -- and my mind enjoys that peace the world cannot give or take away. When I am gone to rest, rejoice for me. Weep not for me, I am, and must be forever happy in God's love.

The questions are often asked me.

"Why were you sent here? you are not insane. Did you injure any one? Did you give up, and neglect your duties? Did you tear your clothes, and destroy your things? What did you do that made your friends treat such a good woman so?"

Let silence be my only reply, for your sake, my husband. Now, my husband, do repent, and secure forgiveness from God, and me, before it is too late. Indeed, I pity you; my soul weeps on your account. But God is merciful, and his mercies are great above the heavens. Therefore, do not despair; by speedy repentance secure gospel peace to your tempest-tossed soul. So prays your loving wife,

ELIZABETH.

Extract from Another Letter.

My Dear Husband:

I thank you kindly for writing, and thus relieving my burdened heart, by assuring me that my dear children are alive and well. I have been sadly burdened at the thought of what they are called to suffer on their mother's account.

Yes, the mother's heart has wept for them every moment; yet my heart has rejoiced in God my Saviour, for to suffer as well as to do his holy will, is my highest delight, my chief joy.

Yes, my dear husband, I can say in all sincerity and honesty, "The will of the Lord be done." I can still by this abundant grace utter the true emotions of my full heart, in the words of my favorite verse, which you all know has been my solace in times of doubt, perplexity and trial. It is this:

"With cheerful feet thy path of duty run,
God nothing does, nor suffers to be done,
But what thou wouldst thyself, couldst thou but see,
Through all events of things as well as He."

Oh! the consolation the tempest-tossed spirit feels in the thought that our Father is at the helm, and that no real harm can befall us with such a pilot to direct our course.

And let me assure you all for your encouragement, that my own experience bears honest, practical testimony that great peace they have who make God their shield, their trust, their refuge; and I can even add that this insane asylum has been to me the gate to Heaven. * * *

By Dr. McFarland's leave, I have established family worship in our hall; and we never have less than twelve, and sometimes eighteen or more, quite quiet and orderly, while I read and explain a chapter -- then join in singing a hymn -- then kneeling down, I offer a prayer, as long as I usually did at our own family altar.

I also implore the blessing of God at the table at every meal, while twenty-nine maniacs, as we are called, silently join with me.

Our conversation, for the most part, is intelligent, and to me most instructive. At first, quite a spirit of discord seemed to pervade our circle. But now it is quiet and even cheerful. I find that we as individuals hold the happiness of others to a great degree in our own keeping, and that "A merry heart doeth good like medicine." * * *

If God so permit, I should rejoice to join the dear circle at home, and serve them to the best of my ability. "Nevertheless, not as I will, but as Thou wilt." I thank you, husband for your kindness, both past and prospective. Do forgive me wherein I have ever wronged you, or needlessly injured your feelings, and believe me your

ELIZABETH. P. S. -- Tell the dear children to trust God, by doing right.

CHAPTER XI.
My Transition.

During the sunny days of my prison life I was allowed to have the free and unrestricted use of my pen, with all the paper and stationery I wished. My right to my letters, journal and private papers, was as freely acceded to me as any other inalienable right of an American citizen. And Dr. McFarland even respected my post-office right so much as not to read my letters to my husband, nor do I think he read his to me.

This, I found, was an almost unexampled practical acknowledgement of this sacred right of an American citizen, while under the locks and keys of one of its humanitarian institutions.

Before I entered an insane asylum and learned its hidden life from the standpoint of a patient, I had not supposed that the inmates were outlaws, in the sense that the law did not protect them in any of their inalienable rights. I had ignorantly supposed that their right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," was recognized and respected as human beings.