Library Collections: Document: Full Text

For some days Jessy was kept very quiet. Her mother and the school-mistress visited her, but she was only allowed to speak to them for a few minutes. To the mistress she said, 'Pray for me, dear mistress, that the Lord may be present with me -- that he may continue to support me, and enable me to rest satisfied that all is best.' To her mother she said, 'the Lord has fulfilled his promise to me. I called upon him, and he delivered me from all fear, and enabled me to submit willingly to whatever he saw to be good for me. O! mother,' added she earnestly, 'why will you not come to Christ? O! if you only knew him! Think of all he has done for us! O! be persuaded to listen to his blessed and gentle voice! Mother, why will you die? You must perish if you reject him and live as you do.' Mrs. Grey wept when Jessy spoke this to her, but she did no more. She did not offer up one prayer. She knew that if she came to Christ she must give up all her sins; and she preferred them to the favour of her Saviour. If she had prayed to him, he would have delivered her from the power of sin; but she did not wish to be delivered. O what a choice! A choice for eternity! Sin in this world, -- everlasting woe in the next! Who would believe that rational creatures could be capable of such unutterable folly as to make such a choice?

Jessy remained for several weeks in the Infirmary, after undergoing the operation; and during that time, she saw, to her great grief, that her mother was more than ever given up to sin. The truth was, that Mrs. Grey, while Jessy was at home, had been in some degree restrained by her presence, and had also found her house more attractive, for Jessy was kind-hearted and cheerful, and when her mother was in good humour, she could at times wile away her thoughts, and keep her tolerably happy at home; but now when Jessy was absent, and Mrs. Grey had no companion in her solitude but her own evil conscience, she never staid alone a moment when she could help it, and was thus continually in the way of temptation. Several times before Jessy left the Infirmary, her mother visited her in such a state of intoxication as to make her ashamed, besides the misery occasioned to her by the thoughts of her wretched state; and now that Jessy was getting better, if she ventured to say any thing to her mother when sober, it was very ill received.

Poor Jessy's heart sunk as the time approached that she must return to her home. Though she had suffered much bodily pain in the Infirmary, still it had been a time of peace and comfort, and improvement to her soul; and her heart sickened at the thought of the swearing and drunkenness, and entire want of peace and comfort, which she must meet in all she had now to look to as her home; but she remembered that God was present every where, and that he could change the hearts of his most determined enemies. For this she prayed; and endeavouring to 'cast all her cares,' as she was commanded, 'on the Lord,' she continued to spend those few peaceful days she remained in the Infirmary, in reading her precious Bible, her dear 'Scots Worthies,' and in thoughts of God.

At last Jessy's doctor pronounced her cure complete, and after giving her some advice about the management of the still tender limb, kindly took leave of her, desiring her to send immediately for him, if she ever felt the least unwell. Jessy wept as she thanked him for all his kindness; and in the afternoon of the same day her mother came for her, and she returned on crutches to her home. On entering the house, Jessy was more than ever struck with its confused and dirty appearance; but her attention was called from regarding it by the entrance of several of the neighbours, who, having known that her mother had gone to fetch her; had watched their return; and now she was overwhelmed with questions. 'I thought ye were to get a wooden leg, Jessy; must ye aye gang on crutches? O! woman, that would be an awful thing.' 'I must not use my wooden leg for a little time yet,' replied Jessy; 'but I walk quite easily on the crutches.' 'Poor thing!' said a neighbour; 'but take heart, Jessy, ye'll be able to sew as well as ever, and that's a genteeler way of winning one's bread, than going to service.'

Jessy could scarcely keep from crying, while her neighbours thus attempted to comfort hey. 'I trust the Lord will enable me to serve him in the situation he has appointed for me,' said she, at last, with much seriousness; 'his will must be the best.' The women were silent; and on Jessy saying something more of the same kind, they, one, after the other, recollected something they had to do and went away. Poor Jessy had then time to look around her, as her mother also soon went out. All seemed worse than when she left it, and some articles of furniture were gone, -- Jessy guessed too easily where. Her own little bed and her box remained, however, in their own corner of the comfortless room. Jessy put her Bible into her box, and feeling, at least, the pleasantness of the liberty she might enjoy in her own home, began to move about slowly on her crutches, and put things a little into order. In a short time her mother returned, her conduct betraying too evidently on what errand she had gone out. She spoke much and loud, but what she said was quite incoherent. At a later hour, Thomas Grey also returned, in no better state than his wife; -- but it is very painful to describe wickedness, and it can do good to no one to read such descriptions. I shall therefore say little more of Thomas Grey, or his wretched wife, but as it may be necessary to account for some parts of Jessy's conduct.