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I had a lovely time. I really did. Of course, you may wonder how a spider could have a good time at a human picnic when it is common knowledge how rude and unsociable humans act at the presence of a spider. But these were not ordinary humans; these were people who had been at Toomey at one time or another and so were old friends of mine, for I am a Toomey spider. I recognized them all and I am sure they remembered me due to the fact that not one single effort was made to eradicate me. I appreciated this. Now let me tell you about it.

The picnic was expertly arranged by Mickie McGraw and Donna McGwinn, two charming young ladies. The setting was Mickie's back yard, Sunday afternoon, thunder, lightning, and rain. Dramatic, no? I hurried to make it on time and barely had my fifth leg in the door when I was nearly struck by lightning and it started raining bucketsful. But by the time all the guests had arrived the rain had stopped pouring, the thunder had stopped crashing, and the lightning had stopped bolting. I immediately took to the ceiling to avoid the feet and wheelchairs but, mainly, to have a look around.

First thing I saw was a traffic jam by the kitchen entrance caused by the blockading presence of Susan Armbrecht, who seems to have a knack for finding the busiest spot and occupying the middle of it. This calls for the art of maneuvering at which Susan is an expert. I considered spinning a web by her but refrained; I knew if she discovered me that she would have me liquidated. I had learned from previous experience that Susan is not overly fond of spiders. Strange girl.

Before I had a chance to investigate what everyone else was doing, it was announced that the hot dogs were ready for devouring and a vote was being taken to determine whether this devouring was to take place inside or outside. As there was a feminine majority you can guess the outcome of the voting -- inside. So the table was heaped with everyone's donations -- this was a potluck picnic -- and the stampede was on. Such a voracious display of appetite! The hot dogs, baked beans, macaroni salad, pickles, pop, coffee, and cake had disappeared within two minutes. Well, maybe it did take a little longer but certainly not over five minutes. I noticed Ida Brinkman fighting to remember her diet, and then abandoning the fight in favor of Mrs. McGraw's cherry angel food cake. Wise decision.

When everybody had eaten a sufficient amount and was properly miserable the room suddenly seemed too small and by now the sun had dispersed the rain clouds. That left only one thing to do, migrate outside. I quickly spun my way down to Carol Kneebusch's head so I could ride out with her (she never knew!) and away we went before the speedy propulsion of Carol's friend, Claire. What a ride. She went so fast I could barely hang on. Next time I shall be more careful with whom I choose to ride.

Once safely situated outside, I crawled from Carol's chair to that of Kathy Harrigan but, this turned out to be a mistake. I just missed being swept out of this world by a big, red tongue attached to Kathy's little black cocker, Blacky. Due to my quickness and a bit of Irish luck (my grandmother was one of the first Irish spiders to come to America) I succeeded in rescuing myself. Though I would have loved to spend the rest of the afternoon in Kathy's company, I feared her friendly dog. I was about to spin over to Louise Godec to listen to her discourse on the qualms preceding the first day of college when a latecomer arrived. My stars! It was Dorothy Nicholson who has a dandy chair to spin in. I was almost settled when I realized how drafty it was beside Dorothy. Funny. It hadn't been windy before. Then it dawned on me. Dorothy had a lot to say. Oh well! It was nearly nine o'clock and tomorrow was another web-working day so I threaded my way home after a wonderful day on a people picnic.