Library Collections: Document: Full Text


Are You Bus Conscious?

Creator: Don Russell (author)
Date: August 1933
Publication: The Polio Chronicle
Source: Roosevelt Warm Springs Institute for Rehabilitation Archives


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Captain of Winning Team in Bus Design Contest

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Your editor, having had to wade through a voluminous document of umpteen typed pages which was Don's team report, retaliated by exacting the following samples of bus suggestions which were not reported.

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THE ideal bus has been designed, and, I hope, disposed of. Too many comforts were left out of it. To being with, it has no fireplace in which to broil a weiner, -- after all, one needn't be an architect to vision the swell bonfire that could be built up at one end when the trailer is seven or eight feet wide.

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Facing the fireplace would be an over-stuffed divan, completely across the bus. The back of the divan would be a good five feet high, and it takes a real neck to rubber over five feet. Getting into, or onto, the divan will be polio fun; an escalator will lead up to the roof, deposit the polio on a waxed slide which will slip him quickly onto, or into, the divan. Weinies will be kept in a Frigidaire on the left, steaks in a Kelvinator on the right.

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Directly behind the divan will be individual chairs, cozily grouped as twins, for those that are this way about one another, triplets for those who aren't, and quadruplets for the bridge players. Tables will be suspended from the roof -- might as well use it for something.

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An attendant will run the elevator which will hoist patient, wheelchair and all right up to the bus floor. The attendant will be equipped with rubber hose to calm those who excite him, and an enamel basin to calm those who only excite themselves.

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Built on the side will be a bulge equipped as a traveling office for the King, nothing will be left out. There will be filing cabinets, showers, typewriters, foot baths, stenographers, a throne, an office boy, and a new patient waiting to take up his duties on the National Patients Committee (publishers of the sheet you are reading).

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To counter-balance this bulge will be another bulge on the other side. This will be the combination bulge; combination soda counter, beer parlor, barber shop -- with a manicurist -- and gymnasium (Will there be a physio on duty? Will there!).

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The power car has received too little attention. All we've got now is a Reo. We need a Rolls Royce. There may be those who preach the doctrine that a rolling stone gathers no moss -- but then, who wants any moss. Just picture yourself with moss hanging on all your best points.

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What we need is a trailer with the bulges and a Rolls to pull it. Come on -- get behind this movement.

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